Being a top performer in any field can be very heady stuff. By definition, you will stand out from the rest of the pack, which brings with it a combination of cheers, jeers and sneers. Within the field of competition, you will perform at your very best. Your creative juices flow outward and you make an extraordinary difference. Then the lights go out, the event (meeting, sale, session, etc.) is over and you have a completely different challenge to deal with. It can be lonely when you're the top performer. If you're the one who challenges the status quo and strives to get the group to think differently, then you're probably not the person other people want to hang out with at the bar.

It is in these moments that many top performers fall off their mantle of success and crash permanently on the ground. Bill Clinton maintained a rather extraordinary record as president of the United States. He kept us out of major military conflicts and resided during the greatest period of financial success in the history of the country. Yet many people think of him as a buffoon, a womanizer, a sleaze and many other unpleasant descriptions. Why? What went wrong when everything was going so right? He couldn't handle loneliness and boredom. The same can be true of hundreds of other previous top performers who lost it all because they couldn't figure out how to deal with loneliness and boredom and turned to sex, booze, drugs, affairs, crime and other activities that robbed them of their credibility and ability to positively influence others.

Here are six suggestions for dealing effectively with loneliness and boredom:

1. Get Enough Sleep
2. Have a Hobby
3. Think of the Upside and the Downside
4. Have a Life and Not Just a Job
5. Plan Your Off Hours
6. Strengthen Your Self-Esteem

HAVE A HOBBY

Being at the center of closing a big business deal or presenting to a large audience can be very stimulating. When the deal is completed or the presentation is over, that adrenalin still has to be poured into something. If you want to consciously guide your energy into something you enjoy and that is reasonably healthy, then have a hobby. This could be collecting stamps, playing fantasy sports, window shopping, working out, reading books or any of a number of other activities. The key is to decide where you will invest your time and energy before the boredom sets in. Without a viable option, some rather poor options will make themselves available quite readily.

THINK OF THE UPSIDE AND THE DOWNSIDE

In a situation where you are bored out of your gourd, lonely and considering an option that you may regret the next day, I encourage you to take out a sheet of paper and write down the upside of doing it and the downside of doing it. This one act could be the deciding factor that may keep you from moving into action and help you identify a more positive alternative. Keep in mind both the short-term and the long-term impact of your decision. Keeping your family or job or ability to make a positive difference within your career will hopefully outweigh the short-term thrill of the moment.

HAVE A LIFE AND NOT JUST A JOB

In his spectacular book, On Writing: A Memoir of the Craft, Stephen King wrote, "For years I dreamed of having the sort of massive oak slab that would dominate a room... In 1981 I got the one I wanted and placed it in the middle of a spacious, skylighted study in the rear of the house. For six years I sat behind that desk either drunk or wrecked out of my mind... A year or two after I sobered up, I got rid of that monstrosity and put in a living-room suite where it had been... Put your desk in the corner, and every time you sit down there to write, remind yourself why it isn't in the middle of the room. Life isn't a support-system for art. It's the other way around."

Keep that in mind. You work to live, not live to work. Your craft represents one slice of your overall stay on the planet. Make the most of it. Just don't let it become your entire existence. In the film "Awakenings" Robin Williams has a memorable line, "Friends. Family. Relationships. These are the things that matter in life."

PLAN YOUR OFF HOURS

Top performers do an extraordinary job when then are at work because they know exactly where and when they will make their impact. However, when the day ends, the challenge of finding the next challenge begins. Without a well-thought out game plan for the remaining hours, an undesirable challenge may present itself and the top performer will sometimes subconsciously jump at it. Be careful. Schedule your off hours as well as your work hours, even if it means watching television or being with your children or reading a book.

STRENGTHEN YOUR SELF-ESTEEM

When a person's self-esteem (the value they see within themselves) is low, they may very well feel the need to gain affirmation from an undesirable outside source. When the boredom or loneliness sets in, this lack of self-esteem can make a drink, a new sexual partner or a drug seem irresistible. Consequently, the key is to strengthen your self-esteem before being placed in a lonely and boring scenario.

In order to be a top performer over the long-term, one of the keys to success is to aggressively and consciously tackle loneliness and boredom before they tackle you.

About Dan Coughlin

Visit Dan Coughlin's Free Resource Center on Business Acceleration

Dan Coughlin teaches practical ideas on how to improve business performance. He is a business keynote speaker, management consultant, executive coach, and author of four books on leadership, sales, branding, and innovation. His books including Accelerate, Corporate Catalysts, The Management 500, and Find a Way to Win. His clients include GE Capital, McDonald's, Coca-Cola, Marriott, Boeing, Abbott, Toyota, Subway, Kiewit, Prudential, Denny's, and the St. Louis Cardinals.

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