The Privilege of Responsibilities

I'm 39 years old. I'm married and have two children. My wife, Barb, stays home with our three-year-old daughter, Sarah, and our one-year-old son, Ben. Currently I serve as the immediate past president of the National Speakers Association - Fenton Chapter, vice-president of communications for the Notre Dame Club of Fenton, vice-president of programming for the Institute of Management Consultants - Fenton Chapter, and as a member of the Leadership Committee for the United Way of Greater Fenton Management Assistance Center. In addition, I run my own business, The Coughlin Company, Inc., a consulting firm that focuses on enhancing the effectiveness of top performing executives. This role includes all of the responsibilities for client work, marketing, research and development, office management and so on.

In other words, my life, like yours, is filled with responsibilities. And to be honest with you, it is a privilege to have these responsibilities.

There was a time in my life about 12 years ago when I had virtually no responsibilities. I had just resigned from my position as the head coach of DePaul University's soccer team and had left my very brief position as a head hunter for a professional search firm in Chicago. I had a position as a math teacher at Fenton University High School starting in a few months. So for 45 days I had virtually no responsibilities. I laid in the sun and read books. I got lazy. And I got bored. Contrary to the old Green Acres television show, this was NOT the life for me. It was like being in a game where none of my teammates needed my talents or efforts for them to succeed. I wasn't making a positive difference in anyone's life. I wasn't raising the bar for myself or anyone else. Yipes. It was like living the film "It's A Wonderful Life" in reverse.

Now whenever I get to the point that my life's responsibilities seem overwhelming I remind myself of how lucky I am. I'm lucky that people put their faith in me starting with my wife and children. I'm lucky to have an endless array of opportunities to make a difference in the lives of other people. In other words, I'm lucky to have responsibilities.

The woman who cuts my hair is a great example of what I'm writing about. She has a picture of her six-year-old son next to her scissors. He's in a wheel chair. Every time I'm there I ask how he's doing. She always says he's doing great. She talks about how excited he is at school and how much he loves his teachers. She tells me how heavy his wheelchair can get when she has to lift it, but then she tells me that it's all worth it because her son loves to go out each day. Our conversations have gone on for two years. Last month I found out her son has never talked. Here's a woman whose life is completely filled with responsibilities every minute of every day. And yet she focuses on how lucky she is and she never avoids her responsibilities. That, my friends, is a top performer.

QUESTION FOR THE MONTH

How about you?

Do you ever feel overwhelmed by your responsibilities? Do you ever feel like jumping off your life's train and just having no responsibilities for a while? If so, take a short break. Clear your head. Go on a vacation. But don't walk away from your responsibilities. Life is too empty without them.

The difference between a highly effective executive and a mediocre executive is that the former thrives on responsibility and the latter abhors it. Remind yourself how lucky you are to have responsibilities and soon you will be able to handle even more of them.

RECOMMENDED RESOURCE FOR TOP PERFORMERS:

I suggest you pick up a copy of "They Call Me Coach" by John Wooden. Here's a guy who was completely devoted to his family while simultaneously leading his UCLA Bruins to 10 national championships in 12 years. He accepted that responsibilities are a privilege. I think you'll like it.

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