Effective communicators provide clear, concise, complete and compelling messages that have relevant meaning and value for the other person. Great communicators are like great sculptors in that both do three things very well:

1. identify what will have relevant meaning and value for their intended audience
2. remove any excess material that could hide the true value of their message
3. make sure that whatever is necessary remains in the final product

Everyone can be an effective communicator because the requirements are not based on a title, job description or income level. The trick is to invest the time and effort necessary to meet the three keys to communication success.

First, in order to be able to provide messages that have relevant meaning and value for the other person, we must understand the other person: what motivates them, what do they care about, what does success look like for them, what will enhance their success, and what do they need to know to further the success of the group? The process of gathering this information is based on asking specific, value-driven questions and actively listening to what they say. We CANNOT communicate effectively without first understanding what is important to the other person and their situation. Once we know this we can filter our thoughts down to those that will provide value to the other person.

Second, we need to remove any excess verbiage that might distract the other person from the main idea that we are trying to get across to them. The effective communicator thinks through their statements before blurting them out and makes sure that they have consciously selected the words that will best deliver this concept.

Third, we need to make sure that our message has clarity and completeness. The recipient should understand immediately what our point is and be able to process it easily. It is important that we use enough words to communicate the full substance of what we want the other person to gain.

Communicating effectively is not difficult, but it does require us to consciously pull back, listen to the other person, craft a valuable message and have the discipline not to use too many or too few words in expressing it. The most successful communicators are those people who can accomplish all three steps in a very short period of time. They quickly get to know the other person and their situation, craft a thought that has real value for them, deliver it as efficiently as they can and then pause to listen to the other person's response.

When we walk away from a conversation with an effective communicator, we feel enriched. We may not agree with their point, but we see the relevant meaning that the other person was providing us with. This experience is similar to looking at an extraordinary sculpture that captures our imagination and stirs our thinking.

So where do most communication problems lie? There are three reasons why so often our messages are very ineffective:

First, we don't really know the other person and so we are talking about things that are important to us, but not to them. Our message has no relevant meaning or value to them. We are simply talking out loud to ourselves and the other person happens to be in the same room. Of course, we might know the other person and still choose to talk about things that are important to us but pointless to them.

Second, our thoughts do contain some value for the other person, but that value is covered under a barrage of statements that keep them from seeing it. Here are some phrases that blanket our main idea so heavily no one ever gets to it:

"In my thirty years of experience, I have never …" "Here is what I believe and you can ask anybody in this room if I'm right and they will support my idea." "You probably don't want to hear this, but I'm going to tell you anyway…"

People use statements like these everyday without realizing they are covering up the main point that really would have importance for the other person. Candor is a valuable tool in effective communication. The trick is to be honest without covering up our point with so many unnecessary words that the person doesn't get it.

Third, we try to be so succinct that our point remains a mystery to the other person. Here is an example of a boss giving a performance review. See if you would know what to do based on this input.

"You have done a fine job for us this year and I want you to keep doing what you're doing. My one suggestion for you is to do a better job at building relationships with the customers."

The boss did trim off the extra verbiage and had a relevant and meaningful point for the other person, but does the recipient know what to do now? In an effort to be concise the boss has left the other person in the dark as to what to actually work on. Here's another way this same boss could have given the performance review. It is still concise, but this version has a little more clarity.

"You did a fine job for us this year in three main areas:        providing detailed follow-up on the execution of our projects to make sure that commitments to our employees and suppliers were followed through establishing a clear strategy for increasing market share implementing that strategy in your daily activities as well as ensuring the daily activities of your staff members supported the strategy        "The one area I would like to see you improve on the most is building long-term relationships with our top five customers. I want you to get to know at least seven people in each of those companies on a first name basis. Also, I would like for you to be on-site at each of those companies twice a quarter. Finally, I would like for you to give me a quarterly one paragraph description on how we could better meet the needs of each of these customers." The second message is maybe thirty seconds longer than the first, but now it has greater clarity and completeness in addition to being concise.

As an effective communicator, remember to sculpt your message carefully so it has relevance and value to the other person and is presented with the proper balance of substance and brevity.

Dan Coughlin is a professional speaker, executive coach and consultant who specializes in enhanced individual effectiveness.

About Dan Coughlin

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Dan Coughlin teaches practical ideas on how to improve business performance. He is a business keynote speaker, management consultant, executive coach, and author of four books on leadership, sales, branding, and innovation. His books including Accelerate, Corporate Catalysts, The Management 500, and Find a Way to Win. His clients include GE Capital, McDonald's, Coca-Cola, Marriott, Boeing, Abbott, Toyota, Subway, Kiewit, Prudential, Denny's, and the St. Louis Cardinals.

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